• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
Lasso The Moon
  • Welcome
  • Parenting
  • Recipes
  • Family Games
  • Travel
menu icon
go to homepage
  • Welcome
  • Parenting
  • Recipes
  • Family Games
  • Travel
search icon
Homepage link
  • Welcome
  • Parenting
  • Recipes
  • Family Games
  • Travel
×

Home » Blog » Modern Parenting » Mindful Motherhood

Losing You: What No One Tells You About Becoming a Mother

Published: Jan 18, 2015 · Modified: Jul 1, 2021 by Zina Harrington · Post may contain affiliate links

Sippy cups, potty training, preschool ... and pampakes.

My daughter would ask, "Are we having pampakes for breakfast?" In the chaos of those early childhood moments, I was so engulfed by family that I couldn't imagine my life being any different than it was at that very moment. Yet, here I am with two pancake loving daughters who are eight and ten.

The days are long, but the years are short.

Balancing work, kids, and life requires constant readjustment. We get wrapped up in our children and finding that sock, snack, or school projects, doing laundry, prepping dinner, and helping with homework, scheduling that dentist appointment, packing tomorrow's lunch, and attending school meetings. We get so caught up in their details, that we sometimes forget who we are ...

And I admit, sometimes I embrace that ... being completely engulfed by their needs. Because when you forget yourself, who you were, it allows you to become who you want to be.

You'll always be a parent, but if you do your job right, your kids will become more and more independent each and every day. There will be a day, a day that comes faster than you can imagine, when this (take a look around), THIS my friends, this chapter of your life will be over. And if you read this blog regularly, this is about the point where I'd usually say we need to embrace the moment and be present here and now.

Eight Going on Eighteen: What No One Tells You About Being a Mom

And I still believe that, but my older friends, they warn me of the mix of joy and pain you must endure as you watch your baby jump from being under your care to being an adult. There will be a day when they won't need your constant focus. And through my conversations with a variety of insightful moms, I've come to realize that we also need to look forward, beyond our children now.

We need to ask ourselves these types of questions regularly:

  • What do I want to do or be when we are kid-free?
  • What will make me happy (or excited)?
  • Where do I want to live after the kids have moved out of the house?
  • What kinds of dreams does my significant other have?
  • How can we work toward bringing our visions together today?
How to Score Some Romantic One-on-One Time Away on a FAMILY Vacation *Great travel post for parents

What no one tells you about being a mom is that there is no shame in taking care of you. Thinking about and preparing for a future without little ones, underfoot does not make you a bad parent. It doesn't mean you value them or the current moment any less.

My baby is eight going on eighteen.

Every year my husband and I celebrate our anniversary with a long, kid-free weekend. Somewhere around 1:40 pm on Saturday, we run out of things to say about the kids. After a four hour commute, dinner out Friday night, and a long walk to breakfast on Saturday morning, we'd finally be forced to switch topics for the remaining 24-hours. This is when the magic happens.

You've got to find time to talk about something BEYOND the kids. Date night is not enough. You need solid span of uninterrupted time to connect. Send some emails, make some calls, get a babysitter. Pick a local destination, get a date on the calendar, and make a reservation.

Bayfield - WIsconsin

We'd walk the streets of Bayfield chatting about life, goals, money, travel, books, the future ... us. We'd daydream about owning vacation property in the area and taking the girls kayaking through the Apostle Islands National Park. Four years ago, my family owed over $81,000 in credit card debt. We would leave for the weekend and take our dreams home with us.

It has been an interesting ride, with a variety of unexpected financial choices. This year we have no credit card debt and are saving for a second investment property in, you guessed it, Bayfield. Our long term goal is to spend retired summers in Wisconsin and then head south for the winter. Next summer, we're researching the Gatlinburg area with a camping trip to Smokey Mountains National Park. I hope to check out Asheville, North Carolina in the not too distant future, too. The point?

Everyday actions can yield great results.

Your dreams and goals might be completely different. Explore them. Discuss them. You deserve this.

sig

This post is dedicated to my friend Debbie Clement. Thank you for your candid advice, Debbie!

The days are long, but the years are short. #quote

More Mindful Motherhood

  • I just need 1-minute of silence, so I don't lose my mind
  • No one looks back on life and says, “I’ve spent too much time with my grandkids.”
  • When Life Feels Too Hard and Heavy
  • It's Okay To Say No — FREE PRINTABLE

Primary Sidebar

Portrait of Zina

Hi, I'm Zina! You know you’re in the right spot if — You believe in game nights. You believe in PJ movie parties. You believe in breakfast for dinner. And most importantly, you believe happiness is family.

Let me show you around →

Popular

  • A cat who is nervous about moving hiding under a couch.
    7 Astoundingly Helpful Tips for Moving With Cats into a New Home
  • Two woman sitting on the sidewalk talking about turning 40.
    5 Brutally Honest Things Every Woman Turning 40 Should Know
  • How to Maximize Space in Your Luggage: You'll be amazed at what's in this suitcase *10 packing tips and hacks for your next family vacation
    The Best Way To Pack a Suitcase: How to Travel With a Family + a Single Suitcase
  • How to Ensure Your Tween ROCKS the First Day of Middle School: Know what to wear on the first day ahead of time. If you’re daughter is like mine, she’ll likely have this picked out a week in advance. Recommend she picks a secondary outfit, “just incase she isn’t feeling it” on the first day. It is always good to have a back-up plan. *Great list of back-to-school tips for tweens
    How to Ensure Your Tween ROCKS the First Day of Middle School
  • Hidden Valley Ranch Chicken Marinade — THE BEST Chicken Recipe With Only 4-Ingredients!
  • This cheesy chicken pot pie biscuit casserole is SO GOOD. If you’re pinched for time, keep this 30-minute cheesy chicken biscuit casserole simple with ingredients from your pantry. This quick and easy chicken bake uses cream of chicken soup and sour cream, so it is amazingly creamy. *This is a keeper! My kids (and husband!) love it.
    Chicken Biscuit Casserole

Footer

↑ back to top

Lasso The Moon

  • About This Site
  • Disclosure
  • Privacy Policy
  • Accessibility Policy

Slow Down In Life

  • Overwhelm and busy get in the way of finding time for what really matters in life. Ready to reset? Join me at Becoming UnBusy too!

Slow Living Movement

  • "She silently stepped out of the race she never wanted to be in, found her own lane, and proceeded to win."
    — Pam Lambert

Copyright © 2020 Lasso The Moon

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.