‘Are you ok in here?’
‘Yeah, I’m just having some time to myself because I’m angry and I don’t want to hurt anyone’
That was from my 5-year-old last week. I admit I gave myself a pat on the back there. Sometimes things just go right!
A lot of the time they don’t go so well. Sometimes there are siblings fighting and yelling and snatching. But then these little moments come along as if to say ‘Hey, you’re doing ok here’. And you breathe a sigh of relief.
The sea of parenting books, articles, blog posts, experts, and courses, can get quite overwhelming! You read all these ideas that seem great in theory but when it comes to putting it into practice you struggle to remember what you’re supposed to be doing. In our house, we strive for peaceful and respectful parenting, but it can be hard not to fall back into old habits.
What really helps me is reading real life examples of parenting, and even looking back on my own experiences, good and bad, and thinking about what went well or not so well. I’m much more likely to remember an idea if I’ve heard a story about how it applies to real life. And so lately that’s what I’ve been doing! Documenting some of my own moments that I want to remember, and can learn from. Maybe you'll find them helpful too?
Here are some situations that we’ve experienced in our house recently (click the title to read the full post):
This is one thing that can really push our buttons, isn't it? Rudeness. But really, children don't want to hurt our feelings. They just don't know how to communicate what's really bothering them! This is one example of how we were able to get to the bottom of what was really going on, and use the experience as an opportunity for connection.
How do you peacefully resolve an argument where one child has snatched off another and is holding the item hostage? Well, this is one approach!
Siblings argue. I don't think we're ever going to avoid that completely! But, there is a way to make sure everyone feels heard and understood and to help them learn to work things out independently.
An important lesson from my 5-year-old about slowing down and focusing on connection, that I very nearly missed. If you often find yourself nagging and threatening with your kids when trying to get out of the house in the morning then this one is for you!
I hope that was helpful! What's been happening in your house lately? Got any parenting wins to share? Let us learn from you too!
Meet Sara of Happiness is Here. She loves photography, chocolate, Harry Potter, spending time in nature, life learning, and being a mum to her four beautiful girls. She and her family enjoy an unschooling lifestyle in Australia. She holds a Masters degree in Clinical Psychology, but boasts that being a mother to her girls (and helping them learn about the world) is by far her greatest achievement and joy.
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Check out these other great posts from Happiness is Here:
- We Need to Talk About Childism
- Get out of the Play!
- Stop Picking Your Battles
- Why Manners Cannot Be Forced (And What To Do Instead)
- The Key to Parenting with Patience
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