I called my mother-in-law sobbing asking if she would come to get the girls. Perhaps she heard the desperation in my voice. Perhaps as a mom, she understood the urgency, but she didn't ask a question. She simply replied, "I'm on my way."
Three years ago, after a particularly draining morning with our strong-willed daughter, I broke down crying hysterically. After the girls were headed off to Nana's house I emailed two of my best friends, who both happen to be teachers, asking for advice.
Each of them responded with three words, "Love & Logic."
Never heard of it? Here is a two-sentence summary:
- Love allows children to grow through their mistakes.
- Logic allows children to live with the consequences of their choices.
At my wit's end, I reserved every L&L book I could find at the public library. The first book I read was actually geared towards teenagers. I was so desperate I didn't care. What I learned from that book is that the L&L parenting skills you master carry over through the years. For example, you handle breaking safety rules on a bicycle with a six-year-old in the same fashion you handle a sixteen-year-old driving unsafely (with a different language of course).
I like the idea of being able to practice these techniques now when the consequences are less damaging. When the child is riding a bike instead of a car, a poor grade in elementary school instead of on a high school transcript, etc. Learning this parenting skill set is truly an investment for the future, for when things can be really tough.
Do you have a specific parenting approach or style?
Love & Logic is definitely the broth of my parenting soup. However, I have found three additional ingredients that help flavorful. Check them out below and then let's chat in the comments!
1. Nurture & Thrive
Parenting is an art based on your best intuition and knowledge. Nurture your child's inner strength. Let's build their emotional intelligence, compassion, and growth mindset.
2. Not Just Cute — Intentional Whole Child Development
Yeah, I was sold when I read the tagline. My good friend Sally was always forwarding me posts from this blog, after a while I became hooked. This blog is a wonderful resource for parents. She writes:
Parenting isn’t an easy job. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re doing it wrong just because it’s hard. It is hard work, but with the right tools the hard work begins to feel easier. No book you read, or course you take, will ever change your child. It can only change you and how you react to your child in daily situations. It’s the difference in those interactions that will affect real change in your child.
Click here to check it out!
3. Uncommon Parenting
The Uncommon Parenting frame of mind is very similar to Love & Logic, but I have found this duo is particularly good at defining positive language to use with children. They explain parents need to learn to…
- Understand the value of being present with their children rather than doing to their children since all the doing they can muster will not overcome unconscious being.
- Add the concept of allowing their parenting repertoire so that appropriate moments of noninterference allow children to learn their own lessons, making their own mistakes.
- Help children develop an inner authority since their inner authority is the only one they will take with them everywhere they go.
This book is a great resource!