Often, motherhood feels like a whirlwind of complete chaos. Here are five unconscious habits from the book Savoring Slow that can make you "feel busy," even when you're in control of your schedule. This post contains affiliate links.
"How do you do it? How do you balance work, the kids, life... so well?"
I laughed out loud, "Are you serious?"
As moms, we often assume other people have it together, but the truth is we're all fighting our own battles. My friend and I chatted a bit longer and as the conversation unfolded we both realized that, truthfully, our stress and busyness is self-inflicted.
Think about your situation: Does it matter if your kids eat their broccoli at dinner? What will happen if the laundry doesn't get done? Will your kid's childhood be ruined if you don't show up for that game?
I'm currently reading the book The Abundant Mama's Guide to Savoring Slow by Shawn Fink. In the intro, she writes,
Perhaps you suffer from busyness, too. It's a syndrome when you are constantly lacking time and wishing for more of it. Maybe you are constantly too tired to do what you want to do. Constantly feeling overwhelmed and not even sure why. Constantly maxed out on life's stresses.
Yes, yes, and yes.
But if you're like me, you'll find a way to defend your busy life.
You need your busy life.
You feel important and needed because you're busy.
Yet, here you are reading this post. Questioning with me, "Does busy have to mean stressful?"
I can't help but think of this Blind Melon lyric:
When life is hard, you have to change.
I've come to realize that slowing down isn't about finding more time, it is about mentally slowing down to "savor slow" as Shawn so eloquently explains:
There are many ways to slow time even in a busy life. Because I'm not here to tell you to stop your busy life. I'm here to inspire you to savor the life you have.
Here are five unconscious habits covered in the book that might make you feel like you're constantly maxed out on life's stresses (p. 2-3).
5 Unconscious Habits That Make You "Feel Busy"
1. We think too much.
We over-analyze situations. We read into people’s thoughts and behaviors. We focus on our faults —and others’ faults. We spend countless hours on matters we cannot change.
2. We worry too much.
We put too much energy and time into things like what our child is wearing, eating, not eating, saying, not saying. We put too much time into who is doing what, who hasn’t done what and what needs to be done next.
3. We’re too focused on others.
What is he thinking? Why is she crying? When will she finally walk/talk/be potty trained? Why is he miserable? When will he help me more?
4. We plan too much.
We’re very, very busy striving for perfection so we can snap a picture of it and put it on Facebook. The perfect meal. The perfect craft. The perfect living room arrangement and decor. The perfect outfit. Just what are we going to do that is so amazing today?
5. We try to do too much.
If we could just do the laundry, finish that project, walk the dog, play a game with the kids, make dinner, read the library book that’s overdue and take an hour to work out this morning we’d be just fine. Really.
Were you nodding your head as you read through the list?
I do all of these things.
Shawn explains,
All of this mental work our brains are doing all day — thinking about everyone else — is actually eating up our time and it’s depleting our energy. All that mental work is also more likely to make you feel things like guilt, shame, doubt, anger and fear — none of which make for a happy, healthy and slow day.
Makes so much sense.
Here's to slowing down to savor life!
PS: Here's my current book stack. Will you join me in reading this book?
The chapters are broken down into 12 feel-good habits that you can use to live — and enjoy — a slower, more intentional, family life.
Each section delves into one Savoring Slow habit so you can work on that habit all month. What I am enjoying most about Savoring Slow is the simple everyday suggestions that we can do at home.
I am constantly leaving my home searching for stress solutions: going to the studio for yoga, heading to the park to take a hike, going on vacation to relax. These are all wonderful solutions, but you ... strike that, WE deserve to have peace and happiness in our homes.
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The quotes and list above are fromThe Abundant Mama's Guide to Savoring Slow, © 2015 by Shawn Fink.
Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission.I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
