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Home ยป Blog ยป Modern Parenting

Understanding Your Child's Love Language

Published: Apr 9, 2013 ยท Modified: Sep 16, 2019 by Author ยท Post may contain affiliate links

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{Finding your love language} Are you overlooking a simple barrier to connecting with your little one?
By Stacy Teet of Kids Stuff World

It's been a few weeks since the last episode, it wasn't our first and I know it won't be the last.

She's six.

I've got a sensitive soul on my hands. She carries her heart on her sleeve but keeps it heavily guarded from all but a lucky few.

Words cut like daggers and so far, she's a slow healer.

I've struggled with this one. Much more so than with my two boys. I've been reaching for ways to connect with her on a deeper level, ways that would let me fill her with the strength, the love and courage this Mom knows her tender heart needs.

These last two weeks have been amazing to witness.

I've watched her blossom. She's more confident, more daring, more independent than ever before.

The secret you ask?

We found our common love language.
Quality Time.

Nothing says, "I love you", like full, undivided attention.

I didn't even know love had a language 'til Zina mentioned the concept to me during one of our weekly phone chats. It didn't occur to me I could apply it like this until we stumbled on to the answer unknowingly.

Once we made the connection, it was obvious. We had found our way to communicate our love for one another in a way we both could feel.

My primary love language is touch. I let my children know how much I care by showering them with hugs and kisses, cuddling on the couch, and tickling their back at night before bed. My daughter's first love language, though, is all about positive affirmations.

Neither of those things comes naturally to the other one of us, and as a result, we kept missing our chance to connect on a meaningful level. Sure, I praise her often, and she hugs me, at times, but it takes effort on both our parts to make it happen, and on days when it doesn't go as well as we would have hoped - we both end up feeling hurt and rejected.

Now I can see and understand why.

Funny how life has a way of working things out on its own.

These last couple of weeks have been really busy, we have been thrown together intoย project after project for my work, her school, keeping up the home, you name it. Just the two of us, no one else.

That one-on-one time together has made all the difference. I think if you saw us today, you could feel the connection from a mile away.

Suddenly, she's holding my hand.

Sitting on my lap, squeezing my neck, and while she's doing so, I'm whispering what an amazing job she did, or how proud of her I am for reading that story, or what a great helper she was in the kitchen.

I'm not naive, I know this feeling won't last forever, but I'm smart enough to see right now, today, we are in tune with one another and that connection comes from the love language we both crave, togetherness.

Who knew the answer could be so simple?

5 Love Languages for Children *Great read for parents

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Top 20 Moms | Must-Follow Pinterest Parents

P.S. Today you can find me guest posting over at No Time for Flashcards. We're talking about books that are so good you'll inevitably break the binding. After reading Stacy's post, pop on over to see which books people are sharing as their go-to bedtime reading.

PS:ย Are you following the Top 20 Moms group Pinterest board? Click here to check out all the ideas being shared! Also, remember to pop on over to No Time for Flashcards to check out 20 books so good you'll inevitably break the binding.

Top 20 Moms | Must-Follow Pinterest Parents

 

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