Understanding Your Child’s Love Language

Top 20 Moms | Must-Follow Pinterest ParentsWe’re playing leap frog with Pinterest’s Top 20 Moms to Follow. I am honored to have Stacy Teet of Kids Stuff World sharing a story:

{Love Languages} Are you overlooking an opportunity
to truly connect with your little one?

Today you can find me guest posting over at No Time for Flashcards. We’re talking about books that are so good you’ll inevitably break the binding. After reading Stacy’s post, pop on over to see which books people are sharing as their go-to bedtime reading.

{Finding your love language} Are you overlooking a simple barrier to connecting with your little one?
By Stacy Teet of Kids Stuff World

It’s been a few weeks since the last episode, it wasn’t our first and I know it won’t be the last.

She’s six.

I’ve got a sensitive soul on my hands. She carries her heart on her sleeve, but keeps it heavily guarded from all but a lucky few.

Words cut like daggers and so far, she’s a slow healer.

I’ve struggled with this one. Much more so than with my two boys. I’ve been reaching for ways to connect with her on a deeper level, ways that would let me fill her with the strength, the love and courage this Mom knows her tender heart needs.

These last two weeks, have been amazing to witness.

I’ve watched her blossom. She’s more confident, more daring, more independent than ever before.

The secret you ask?

We found our common love language.
Quality Time.

Nothing says, “I love you”, like full, undivided attention.

I didn’t even know love had a language ’til Zina mentioned the concept to me during one of our weekly phone chats. It didn’t occur to me I could apply it like this until we stumbled on to the answer unknowingly.

Once we made the connection, it was obvious. We had found our way to communicate our love for one another in a way we both could feel.

My primary love language is touch. I let my children know how much I care by showering them with hugs and kisses, cuddling on the couch, and tickling their back at night before bed. My daughter’s first love language, though, is all about positive affirmations.

Neither of those things come naturally to the other one of us, and as a result we kept missing our chance to connect on a meaningful level. Sure, I praise her often, and she hugs me, at times, but it takes effort on both our parts to make it happen, and on days when it doesn’t go as well as we would have hoped – we both end up feeling hurt and rejected.

Now I can see and understand why.

Funny how life has a way of working things out on its own.

These last couple of weeks have been really busy, we have been thrown together in project after project for my work, her school, keeping up the home, you name it. Just the two of us, no one else.

That one-on-one time together has made all the difference. I think if you saw us today, you could feel the connection from a mile away.

Suddenly, she’s holding my hand.

Sitting on my lap, squeezing my neck, and while she’s doing so, I’m whispering what an amazing job she did, or how proud of her I am for reading that story, or what a great helper she was in the kitchen.

I’m not naive, I know this feeling won’t last forever, but I’m smart enough to see right now, today, we are in tune with one another and that connection comes from the love language we both crave, togetherness.

Who knew the answer could be so simple?


Stacy of Kids Stuff World
Stacy is seeing the world in a whole new way – through the eyes of her children. She writes about the little things, the big things and all the “stuff” in between at Kids Stuff World.

Connect with Stacy online:
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PS: Are you following the Top 20 Moms group Pinterest board? Click here to check out all the ideas being shared! Also, remember to pop on over to No Time for Flashcards to check out 20 books so good you’ll inevitably break the binding.

Top 20 Moms | Must-Follow Pinterest Parents



  1. Holly Homer says

    I LOVE this!! I think the hardest thing is that each child is so different. So sweet that you found that connection.

  2. says

    it is wonderful you find the love language differences between the two of you. I only knew about the original 5 language of love book, it is good to know now they have that for children and teens. Thanks for sharing.

  3. imgabbismom says

    Wow! I felt like I was reading about me and my daughter! Funny how I needed a stranger to point out what should have been obvious! Thank you for sharing!

  4. Shawna says

    I just heard about the love languages today. Sounds like something I could read and use! My daughter is such a touchy/feely person while I…and definitely not. Sometimes it’s a struggle to not just shout out “back off!”I have a hard time connecting with my kids sometimes, and they’re only 3 and 5. Babies are so much easier.

  5. Karen says

    Great to read an article that confirms my beliefs. That’s my son’s love language too. But I just get told by my other half that this is spoiling him. How can love and time together spoil a child?

  6. Nikki says

    Thank you! This is great! I am just learning how to read my son and his many emotions. It wasn’t until my daughter developed a personality so opposite from my son that I noticed that they both need two very different styles of parenting. Your daughter sounds very similar to my son. This just affirmed to me that he does have a language that desperately needs to be understood and nurtured. Thank you for putting a name to what my heart has been feeling!

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