9/11 Spinning

Posted by in Modern Parenting, Parenting Tips & Tricks, The Blog

Swinging | Let's Lasso the Moon

Stop the spinning | Let's Lasso the MoonThe girls wound up the swing like I had done do many times in my childhood. They laughed as Rose spun around. Then the laughter became tears, but there was no way to stop the swing fast enough.

When I downloaded the photos from my camera to my computer, I had captured the horribly painful moment. I originally deleted both images below. But then something about this simple moment made me think of September 11th.

Sometimes you just want to forget about the spinning, about the pain… about what happened.

Yet, every year as the anniversary of 9/11 passes I force myself to sit and watch footage of the 2nd plane hitting the tower. I think about the people jumping and falling from the buildings and all the firefighters and police storming in to help victims. I remember the unsettling feeling of panic as news of the Pentagon hit my college campus.

I didn’t have children when 9/11 occurred, but I had a nephew who was six who I was very close to. Our conversation about 9/11 went something like this:

Taylor: Did you hear about the planes?
Zina: Yes, what have you heard?
Taylor: The planes hit the buildings and people died. Lots of people broke their arms.
Zina: Yes, many people where hurt.
Taylor: Lots of people broke their arms.
Zina: Did you talk to your Mommy or Daddy about it?
Taylor: Let’s name the new fish Bob.

As a parent now, I can only imagine how challenging this entire situation must have been. How did you handle the 24/7 footage? How did you ensure your children still felt safe? How did you share just the right amount of detail? I often think about the loss of innocence that occurred that week.

I worry about discussing the topic with my girls who are six and seven. Is the topic broached in 1st & 2nd grade? Will they come home from school today with questions?

I hope my girls are able to
hold on to their innocence.

I want their heads filled with daydreams of summer vacation, bugs, bike riding… childhood. That being said, this horrible situation brought out many everyday heroes. If the conversation should arise, that will be our focus.

I am not attempting to “delete” the painful memories of 9/11, but I am hoping to put them on hold for one more year.


PS: Where were you when you heard the news of 9/11?

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Note: I also happened to catch the moment when Quinn realized Rose’s laughs had turned to tears; a too familiar look of confusion and concern.

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  • http://twitter.com/LLJournalAust LessonsLearntJournal

    I was at home. My mum came into my room and told me to watch the news on TV. I couldn’t believe what was happening before my eyes. A lovely post Zina. I think when our children are ready, they will ask us about it. I will tell them when that time comes. xoxo P

  • http://twitter.com/tiffdahle Tiffany Dahle

    I agree with wanting to put that discussion on hold for another year but appreciate your planned focus on the heroes. Excellent tactic if they come home with questions. The photos brought a tear to my eyes, so glad you didn’t delete them.

  • Babs

    I often imagine what I will say to my son when he asks. He is 6 as well, and it hasn’t come up in that sort of direct way that the Vietnam war did for my parents. I try to keep the vows I made during that time: I always answer my phone, I don’t ignore it because I don’t feel like talking, you never know the last call. I also take every opportunity to show respect and give thanks to police, emt’s, firemen, and servicemen openly, purposefully. I try to use those normal day occurrences to build toward that moment when he asks what did it feel like during 9/11? I was/am all the way on the other side of the US, we watched the reports for days with tears streaming openly down our face for days and nights. And still, I can and do cry.

  • aleigh090

    I was on a plane heading to New York to visit a friend when the pilot told us we had to turn around because of terrorist attacks…I will never forget!

    • LetsLassotheMoon

      Oh my goodness.

  • J.S.

    I was in a meeting aboard Marine Corps Base Quantico, when a Navy servicemember received a phone call from his wife (also Navy) at the Pentagon informing us of the attack. The meeting broke and we went to the lounge area of the building and watched the second plane hit on the TV news. I headed back across base to my office, but had to pass the air facility where the Presidential helicopter is based. Roads were blocked, armed Marines were everywhere. When I finally made it back to the office, I heard about the attack on the Pentagon. My best friend and office mate’s husband was stationed at the Pentagon. No phone calls were getting through. It was incredibly tense. Then armed Marines started patrolling our building. Now, I saw Marines every day… working in the payroll office, on their way to chow hall, standing at attention during ceremonies. I KNEW they were trained to fight and put themselves in harm’s way, but this was the first time I was GLAD someone with a gun stood right outside my office door. There was this feeling a dread, waiting to hear of other attacks, wondering if Quantico would be a target, waiting to hear from my friend’s husband. He survived, but only because his normal office space was being renovated and they had moved him to another part of the building (crazy, right). The days that followed were strange, a mixture of fear and pride at the way Americans were pulling TOGETHER. The following week I found out I was pregnant, after four years of trying and failed infertility treatments and giving up hope. I knew that life would go on.

    • LetsLassotheMoon

      What an uplifting end (or we should likely say it was the beginning)…

  • Lauren

    Beautiful post.
    I was in 6th grade at a K-8 Catholic school in Rhode Island 11 years ago. My principal had decided that only the 6h-8th graders should be informed that morning, so I was the 2nd youngest child in my school to know. It all seemed so unreal to me, until my Dad called the school and told them he was going to pick me and my 2nd grader brother up rather than have us take the bus home. It was only then that he revealed that he had no idea if my Mom’s sister and her then boyfriend had made it through alive (they were thankfully nowhere near the Towers, but did see it from a distance), which still felt vaguely unreal. It didn’t hit me that something was wrong until I came home from school the following days and all of my friends’ Dads were walking the street of our military housing neighborhood, unsure of what to do with themselves while classes at the Naval War College were cancelled temporarily. Until then, my world was safe while all our Dads were in classes and all our Moms were home supervising the after school silliness in the neighborhood. All of a sudden, everyone was home.

  • Monique

    I had dropped my fiancee off at the pier of the USS JFK. They were going out for 3 weeks to do a “shakedown”. Went to work and was on the telephone with a colleague in NYC. He told me that a second plane, a jet had struck the other tower. It went from an interesting 6 oclock news story to life shattering in milliseconds. Then no one knew how many other planes were involved as news of the other planes came in. All I could think of was my now Husband out on an aircraft carrier, basically a sitting duck with no airplanes on board. What struck me most was that how for 3 days, my hand kept coming up to my mouth, as if that may be a universal animal response to horror.

  • janel

    i was sleeping in after a late night class. my clock alarm went off (the radio was on…and i believe i heard the beginning about when the first plane hit) but I thought it was in my dream. My roommate heard when she was in class and came to find me. I had been working in NYC for three summers with a bunch of kids from the city so she knew my world would be greatly impacted. i went upstairs to the student lounge and watched in horror the footage over and over again. i became numb. and when i saw the World Trade Centre site that summer it still recocheted in my head and heart. i can’t believe its been 11 years…what seems like a lifetime ago and yet so many lives have been changed in an instant.

  • monique

    I’m amazed at how many horror movies my neighbor child has seen…that combined with the TV and the video games. Yet….he’s too young (6) to know about real life things? Every kid is different, some more sensitive than others. I told DD the basics….bad guys, airplanes, people died, people were heroes, when it happened, why we remember every year. She’s too young for details only because I want her to understand the primary lesson of it now. Later, we can delve into radical religiosity.

    • LetsLassotheMoon

      I guess that’s where I differ from most parents. Or girls are not exposed to a lot of violent TV, cartoons or games so they are a tad bit more sensitive.

  • LetsLassotheMoon

    Thank you to everyone who told their story below. It was interesting to read through all the personal moments. I appreciate your openness and sharing…