Mama, when will I be a man?

I’ve realized, over the course of my first year of blogging, how many amazing stories and women are out there. Each week we will feature one of these voices through a collection called the Monday’s Mom Series. We kick off this new tradition with Danielle from 52 Brand New.

As always, I’d love to hear your opinion.

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“Mama, when will I be a man?”

We were standing outside a bathroom stall, waiting for my daughter, when my 6 year old son asked me this question.  My mind immediately jumped to the birds and the bees, and I realized I was not ready for that conversation.  To buy a little more time, I asked him why he wondered about becoming a man.

He answered, “So I can use the men’s restroom and not come in here with all the ladies.”

I breathed a sigh of relief.  Luke’s idea of becoming a man was quite different than what I had thought.  The momentary relief I felt was soon replaced with terror.  My son was capable of using the restroom by himself, but I was not prepared to let him out of my sight in a crowded mall or busy store.  I completely trust Luke in the bathroom, but I don’t trust the rest of the world.

Luke’s innocent request led to much soul searching.  What type of parent am I?  What kind of world do we live in?  Where does one draw the line between coddling a child and protecting him?

After much internal debate, I decided I’d give Luke the opportunity to use the restroom by himself the next time we were in a store.  The first time he was about to enter the men’s room, I reminded him about Stranger Danger.  As he walked in, I stood in the hallway.

I couldn’t help but call in after him, “If anyone talks to you, just tell them you have a crazy mother waiting outside for you.  I will hunt down anyone who talks to you!”

I waited one minute, then another.  A man exited the restroom, looked at me, chuckled, and said, “Lady, I swear I did not say one word to your boy!  He’s fine in there.”  He walked off, shaking his head.

I suppose I didn’t sound like the cool and collected mom I like to think I am.

A moment later, Luke came out beaming.  He looked as happy as if he had just won the lottery or at least found some money in his pocket. Watching his expression made me realize that he was more than ready for this little slice of freedom.  It may have been a trivial event, but Luke learned that I trust him.  He knows that I believe he is capable of taking care of himself.  He felt confident and grown up.

Motherhood is a constant state of holding on and letting go.  We must give our children more freedom if we want them to grow into responsible and confident adults one day.  When children are on their own, they must make their own decisions.  They might make mistakes, but childhood is the perfect time to realize the consequences of decisions made.  We learn the most from the world through our interactions with it. You can read a book or watch a TV show, but life is meant to be experienced.

Sometimes it seems like we live in a scary world, and we need to shelter our children but allowing them to experience freedom in an age appropriate manner is essential to their growth as a person.  This year I’ve made a conscious effort to give my children more freedom in their lives.  They are becoming responsible young children, and they deserve it.

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About Danielle

Danielle’s blog, 52 Brand New, chronicles her adventures with her children as they try a new experience each week of the year.  They hope to inspire others to do the same.  Her most popular posts include:  10 Things Every Child Should Experience in Summer and 10 Reasons to Expand Your Child’s Comfort Zone

Find Danielle Online:  Blog | Facebook | Pinterest | Google+ | Twitter

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Photo Credits: Thank you to the following gentleman for making their photos available under creative commons.

• Ben Crowder for iPhone photo #68
• Emil Pakarklis and iphonephotographyschool.com for Beautiful Boy