3 Tips on Being a Present Parent

Awesomely Awake. Does your child say, “Mom, Mom, Mom!” automatically three times to get your attention?
Have you unconsciously taught your child they need the trio to get your attention?

How do you keep the most important thing in focus when the rest of your life is a blur?

Perhaps it’s time you check out this wonderful blog by Shawn Ledington Fink. She writes, “This is a family living blog about mindful parenting, mindful living, writing and creativity and instilling a love of learning that the whole family can enjoy.” This blog description feels very in line with the community goals we’ve built here at Let’s Lasso the Moon.

Shawn and I have been chatting behind the green curtain & building an online friendship. We’ve both learned a lot from our virtual Q&A. I started the conversation with, “I admire your commitment to being awake and feeling alive. You recommend as parents we don’t let a day pass without a celebration, a meaningful moment, quality time, conversation or playtime. Sometimes it seems the days fly by way too fast.”

How to do you snap out of the hustle & bustle and allow your mind to slow down enough to be truly present when you are with your family?

Below she explains 3 approaches she uses to keep herself “awake” as a parent:

1. Meditation
   One day last fall, I stopped into a local yoga studio that is a block from my office and bought a zafu — a meditation cushion. It was a glorious day for me. I knew that I needed to stop thinking and start doing. So meditation — when I do it — is the best way for me to stay grounded and mindful in my days. I have a mind that literally races with ideas. Hundreds of ideas come to me each week. I also walk at 5 a.m., get up early to have quiet time and do yoga on occasion. Calming my mind helps me be a more patient parent.
2. Gratitude Journal
   I love my gratitude practice and feel it has truly changed my entire perspective both as a mother and as a person. For a long time, I never knew I had so much to be grateful for and so I felt unhappy. My gratitude journal shows me each night that I was blessed today by so many amazing people, natural wonders, gifts and treasures and happy moments. I feel this gratitude has come back to me full force. While these mindful things are great, writing is my life. It slows me down so I can appreciate the details that I definitely glossed over while rushing around. If I do not write each day, I get cranky — very, very cranky.
3. Being Flexible
   Finally, being flexible helps. I mean we don’t really have a choice each day of when we get to be on or not. We have to be on all the time as parents. So, I’ve learned to be flexible. Go with the flow. Laugh at the messes. Laugh at myself. Cringe but walk away from the bad moments. Be firm but calm during the really, really bad moments. I repeat a lot of the same mantras, intentions and affirmations to myself each day.

What tricks do you have for staying present? How do you avoid that “mom trio”? Let’s chat in the comments, on Pinterest or on Facebook. Learn more about Shawn and her family below.

PS: Also, pop over to Awesomely Awake to see how I answered Shawn’s thought provoking questions.

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Welcome to this special edition of {Not My Words Wednesdays}!

Can you share your experiences with your own family traditions and rituals?
…. and why they are important to you?

My favorite tradition is movie night. We’ve been doing this for three years and so it’s a pretty established event in our house. We try and do this every Saturday night. We always have a special treat that might be popcorn but it also might be brownie ice cream sundaes, cookies, or some other concoction that I’ve whipped up in the kitchen that day. This is our time to zone out in front of the tube, which we really try to limit the rest of the week.

Favorite rituals: Definitely curling up together in a ball on the couch/bed/floor and just laughing and being silly — usually once everyone is home, fed and relaxed. I also love sending them off to school with some crazy saying like “Who’s going to have a hippity-skippity, fantastically, amazing, super-wonderful day?” They always remember one word out of the string.

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Can you share a little bit more about your Wonder Board? See the original Wonder Board post here.

Our wonder board is amazing. It’s a simple bulletin board all fancied up that holds a collection of our questions — mostly our daughters’ questions but not just theirs! The questions range from simple, every day questions to bizarre or obvious. them thWhen they raise a question, I let them finish it and then I tell at that is a good question for our I Wonder board and I write it down for them — at least until they can spell a little better. Currently, our questions are just questions. I believe strongly that the magic is in the mystery and love hearing the answers they come up with on their own. At some point, we’ll show them how to look up the answers but right now they are still young and their creativity is bursting at the seams and their answers are way better than the real thing could ever be. Questions on the board right now vary from “Do flamingos get tired of standing on one foot?” to “Were people alive when dinosaurs were?” and “Can fish hear?”

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I loved your post about creating a magical winter party.
Tell us more about your “skip the party” plans for next year.

This is the first year that our twins were in separate classes. It’s been a great decision but it’s also 50 children to consider for a birthday party. Not to mention, 55 cupcakes to take into school. Plus a family party. I decided that this was a bit too much, even for me who loves parties and cake! So, we asked the girls and they agreed that going on a trip overnight in a hotel will be a great choice next year. We haven’t done much traveling since they were born. I may allow them to pick one friend to have over for a day or a slumber party, too, but they don’t know that yet! And, of course, we’ll still trudge 55 cupcakes into the classrooms — or maybe a pizza party instead!! Maybe when they are older, we’ll let them skip school on their birthday. Who knows?

Read the full post 10 ways to create {magical} winter birthdays.

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What has been your favorite activity to do with your girls?

I love, love, love our game nights. Something about sitting around the dining room table, laughing and focusing while playing games is just the best feeling. Movie nights are a great tradition but we just sit there like blobs staring at a screen — game night, though, is usually pretty magical. Some of our favorites these days are Busytown, Blokus and Yahtzee — and, of course, charades!

Let’s Lasso the Moon Tip: Check out some of our family’s favorite games. It is our goal to obtain “Tenenbaums’ game closet” status!

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What is your family up to in 2012?
Any goals, dreams, big things planned?

We will be taking our first vacation in three and a half years — a 1500-mile roundtrip to Georgia to visit my mom. That will be huge for us — we are homebodies and traveling with kids can be tough. We also hope to start one major day trip a month. Other than that, we are looking forward to spending time outside, in our swimming pool and going on hikes and exploring the natural world — once the whether improves!

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Learn more at Awesomely Awake:
www.awesomelyawake.wordpress.com

“The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children.” – Elaine Heffner

At Awesomely Awake they believe that family time is the most important time of the day. We are all busy working and running around but at the end of the day — or maybe the start of the day — we owe it to ourselves and our children to come together for simple, peaceful family moments to engage.

Shawn and her adorable twins.